Nature or nurture? I have this ‘disagreement’ with my husband at times about celebrities. Are you born to be Sean White, Serena and Venus Williams, Brittany Spears and Justin Timberlake? My husband says yes and I disagree! This post is a bit like Marriage Ref and I am going to plead my case:
What I know about Sean White is that he is amazing. White has been seen skateboarding since he was seven years old!! White’s Mom bought him a snowboard to keep him busy because he had a love for the outdoors. White stated that his parents bought him a snowboard to settle him down, he said it unleashed his love of taking risks! If you start that young and you are good at it, I believe it just inspires you to keep playing!
William Twins. Seen in pictures with their dad holding tennis rackets since they were eight years old. Oprah had them on her show and I remember them stating that tennis became a sport that they lived for. Twins said that they had a love for the sport–A sport introduced to them by their Dad at an early age. Again, they started young, played hard, had Dad as coach! Awesome and at the same time I believe a huge reason to become “amazing”!! (Because Amazing is what they are!)
Brittany Spears and Justin Timberlake: seen in Mickey Mouse Club since they were kids!! Growing up singing and in the spot light. It did take huge effort for their parents to get them to earn a spot in the Mickey Mouse Club but they grew up in that industry! Singing all their life why would they choose anything else??
I am clearly not that parent but wonder if I am selling my kids short!! My husband says that if they want to pursue anything they will let us know. Have I missed the boat? They are 7 and 9….should I sign them up for singing lessons or just take my chances??
You be the Ref and let me know your thoughts…..Do you side with my husband or side with me?
(No background research was done to write this post and I am not quoting any specific statement. Only opinion and general information was used.)
I will admit right off the bat that I am no “ordinary” marriage ref here (ILOVETHATSHOW). No, I blog about my most unusual family and their exploits. However, on this one, I tend to side with your husband. However, you do need to “expose” your kids to things that will allow them to choose what they might want to do. This advice must be followed CAREFULLY, however. Our older girl tried out for a play in eighth grade and decided to be famous. She traipsed all over the US in acting and debate competitions before finally going to college, majoring in film, and becoming a talent agent in LA. Because of her, I got to meet William Shatner and David Hasselhoff. But I digress. WE MADE THE HUGE MISTAKE OF LETTING OUR YOUNGER CHILD TAKE A PONY RIDE WHEN SHE WAS 6. Thousands of dollars and five horses later, she finally teaches school and pays for her own riding expenses… Both girls found their passions. Both parents were proud. But those damn horses nearly killed us with vet bills, riding boots and trunks, riding lessons, bits, saddles and all sorts of leather things that looked vaguely like dominatrix tools, expensive riding jackets, helmets, and hats.
My suggestion? Try to get them interested in affordable pursuits: playing Scrabble, Sudoku, maybe even a Pogo stick. Steer clear of anything requiring professional one-on-one coaching and custom made clothing! Best to you1 molly
That’s allowing my husbands ego to grow!!
I do like the fact that we find our passion in life. You are blessed with 2 superstar daughters!!
Thank you for sharing! I love it! No right way to be a parent but I love how this “parenting” journey seems to figure itself out! One for my hubby!
You and your husband are debating NATURE vs. NURTURE. You are both right. I think we are all born with these God-given talents that push us and drive us to be who we are and to do certain things. But we are also human and flawed, and a children, inexperienced. Children need the gentle guidance of parents who have world experience. So often I see many naturally gifted children in my classroom wasting those talents because parents have not invested the time or energy on helping their child develop their gifts. On the other hand, I have seen parents push children to be something they are not (or as a means to live vicariously through the child) and the child is miserable because the push is to do something that is not their “destiny”. Again, you guys are both right. GREAT post.
My feeling is that kids will gravitate to what they love as long as you (parents) open them to all the possibilities out there. For example, my little girl just turned 3 down here in Fiji and has been traveling around the world for 1/2 of her life. We experience a ton of things and she always go to what she loves. I thought she may be surfing already though I think she is a bit scared since I break many boards and get many reef cuts. I have a feeling that she will be a surfer though I am not going to push it on her. She sees the love I have for surfing & the ocean and she will gravitate when she is ready. Maybe she’s waiting for Mom to pick surfing back up…who knows? That is how Rhonda & I met 12 years ago this month…in the water surfing in San Diego, CA.
Who could ever tell that a farm boy in a small town from Illinois (the middle of the USA…1000′s of miles from the ocean) would start surfing at the age of 20 years old and spend the next 15 years traveling the world to experience the different waves and cultures of the world? It took me 20 years to find my real passion and love of the ocean, though when I landed in Australia back when I was 20…it knew it immediately!
Now, I am in no ways a pro surfer & it does not matter to me either…I do it for the love!
I know that Hanalei will find her love and passion….who knows, she may be Surfing’s World Champion in 15 years?
Bula from Fiji!
Brian Swan